Lifestyle Blog: living with fear & anxiety

A Lifestyle Blog and Podcast on Mental Health

A great life — April 23, 2019

A great life

Are you waiting to begin your life? Why?

You don’t need to ask permission from anyone in order to live the life you want. With the availability of information online you can learn pretty much anything, anytime.

If you chose a major you never wanted, a job you never wanted, a spouse you never wanted, and you find yourself in a place you never wanted to end up in – you can still turn your life around. You are not bound by your decisions. If you choose one thing one day you can choose something else another. When you were younger, you had less opportunities to live life on your terms because you were restricted by a lack of autonomy. Now as an adult, some of us still put these same restrictions on ourselves. We ask our friends and family advice on matters in our life. Our fear of making our own decisions and then possibly being “wrong” enables us to poll others just so that we don’t take all the blame for our own crappy life. We spread around the blame. At a certain point there’s no where left to spread and you realize all the blame is on you. Because it’s your life. Take charge of it.

Sing your song — April 18, 2019

Sing your song

Sing your song so proudly. Be bold. Be you.

Be brave enough to stand up for what you believe in, even when it isn’t so popular.

Be happy enough with who you are so that you don’t shy away from your reflection.

Stand tall so everyone can see you. Don’t hide within the crowd. Don’t try to blend in if you don’t.

Be you, whatever that means and by whatever means. Be you, for you.

It’s Time — April 16, 2019

It’s Time

It’s time to put yourself first. It’s time to listen to your body and feed it what it needs. It’s time to move and be active. It’s time to be alive!

It is very easy to get caught up in the business of day-to-day activities and responsibilities and push our own needs aside. We can forget our daily maintenance while responding to urgent matters. Well, neglecting basic needs will lead to burnout and stress.

Do something for you today.

Laugh it off — April 11, 2019

Laugh it off

I do so many things to embarrass myself. From running, tripping, and falling to saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. I feel socially awkward sometimes, yet somehow I still am able to function as a seemingly “normal” human. When you do something to embarrass yourself, dwelling on it is the worst thing to do yet we can’t not dwell on it, right? What if I told you that I stopped my embarrassment harassment in my own mind, would you believe me?

Well, yesterday I did it! I was waiting in line for public transportation and for whatever reason I thought I was on the wrong line and that they were closing my gate so I begin to run to the gate to be let onto my transportation and… there was still a huge line ahead of me. So I un-shamefully walked back to my respective spot in line. I did not make eye contact with anyone and I was just laughing to myself. Now everyone saw me do this and I could have felt totally embarrassed but I just realized, hey I made a mistake but I don’t know any of these people but even if I did, I am a flawed human and am allowed to make mistakes! I usually would dwell on something like this, maybe turn red in the face and then text a few people telling them how embarrassed I felt to invoke sympathy. But I didn’t and I just continued with my day feeling proud! Sometimes you have to just let it go and accept you are flawed.

Don’t take it personally — April 9, 2019

Don’t take it personally

Sometimes people let you down. You never know what anyone is going through in their life. Maybe they missed your text, your call, your birthday, your anniversary… When you are let down by the people you love, how do you not take it personally. Just try to remember sometimes it’s “not you” and it really is the other person. Keep moving forward and make sure you live up to your own standards that you expect from others. If you command respect, you should be giving respect to others. If you command love, you should be giving love to others.

Internal struggle — April 4, 2019

Internal struggle

The internal struggle between loving myself and hating myself is a rollercoaster. Some days I am so proud of myself while other days I feel worthless. Some days I am happy with where I am in my life and other days I just want to escape. Life is a balance between doing things we like doing and don’t like doing. If you find yourself doing too many things you don’t like, it may be time to reevaluate and change. If you can’t change your circumstances, change your outlook. Every day I am getting better and better about changing my attitude towards my life. I am trying to be more loving towards myself while still acknowledging the things I need to work on.

Happiness is scary — April 2, 2019

Happiness is scary

Happiness is scary to me. It is unknown territory. I have had glimpses and periods of happiness but they were fleeting. Long-lasting, sustained contentedness is not something I am accustomed to.  I’m not sure how I would be if I were happy. Anger and sadness are comforting to me because they are familiar. I don’t know what happiness would look like on me. Would it be a lingering smile? Would it be relaxing in the sun on my porch? Would it be a calm state of mind?
Perhaps my pursuit of happiness is thwarted not by the pursuit in and of itself, but by my own fear of the unknown. Am I my own worst enemy? Well, I am the only thing preventing happiness for myself. Fear is the obstacle, fear is the catalyst for my depression. I fear success, I fear failure, I fear being without, I fear lacking within, I fear rejection, I fear… happiness. What would happen if I cast my fears aside? Well, I just may find happiness.
I Think Instagram told me what my passions are… — March 28, 2019

I Think Instagram told me what my passions are…

The things that I follow and “like” on Instagram have given me a lot of insight. I mostly follow accounts that have to do with: food, travel, the outdoors, working out, cats, dogs, and craft beer.

When thinking about what your passions are, would you ever think to look to Instagram or other social media for any clues? I definitely did not think so, but it dawned on me one day. I felt extreme jealousy that I wasn’t out snapping pics of the Aurora Borealis or playing with cats all day at a cat cafe.

I’m not sure yet how this will help me, but it is a start, right? Social media can be damaging and negative, but I found this one aspect of me finding my passions a very interesting outcome from social media that I wasn’t expecting. It was more of a discovery than a purposeful action. I guess I like one thing and the algorithms knew better than I did what I like!

Rewrite your story — March 26, 2019

Rewrite your story

The stories we tell ourselves about our life and our past are very important. If you find yourself falling victim time and time again, you most likely will perpetuate this in your life moving forward. But if you tell past memories of strength and growth, you most likely will grow as a person into the future.

I find myself full of regrets, things I wish I didn’t do or say, and feeling like my circumstances and the world let me down. I tell myself, “I could have been great but XYZ stopped me.” This type of story that I tell myself has not been healthy. It paints myself as a victim to the outside world. Yes, things will happen that are out of my control but reframing these stories to be positive things where growth occurred will help me become a better person. Because if I keep telling myself I am a victim, I will always be a victim. But if I retell my stories to myself in a way that shows how I grew as a person from my difficult times, then I will remember I can survive anything and come out as a better person.

Retelling our stories and reframing them to be positive instead of negative will help rewire out anxiety ridden and depression filled brains. Because if we keep thinking in negative frames of mind, we will perpetuate negativity throughout our life.

Will you rewrite your story to rewire your brain?

Set Yourself Free — March 21, 2019

Set Yourself Free

I am a prisoner of my own mind. Trapped with myself for the rest of my life. Lesson: You better get along with yourself or you are in for a bumpy ride. A bumpy life.

When I don’t like someone, a new friend, an acquaintance, I can easily choose to not associate with them anymore. And I have done this fairly frequently throughout my life. People have come and go willingly and forcibly in my life. Forcibly by myself. Willingly on their own accord.

But what happens if you don’t like yourself? I don’t like a lot of what the person who stares back at me in the mirror has done thus far. I have alienated myself. I’m not where I thought I would be in life. I don’t like how socially uncomfortable I am around others. I sometimes say inappropriate things. I am sometimes very hurtful to my loved ones. Ninety percent of the time I don’t like who I am and how I operate.

How can I set myself free from myself. From my own self-sabotaging actions. How can I become the person I want to be. I almost want to fit in, but I never fit in throughout my entire life. This whole life I have tried to blend in. Now all I want to do is stand out. I want to have great talents and skills. How can I set myself free from my own prison?