I read something a long time ago that made things click in my mind. I cannot remember the exact words, but it goes a little something like this, “you say you believe in fate, yet you still look both ways before crossing the street.” WOW. Right? Makes you think… Now you might say “well that is too extreme of an example, we can still believe in fate but still try to prevent certain accidents.” But isn’t the core of the word fate the fact that we can’t control it? From dictionary.com we find many definitions of fate: “noun. 1. something that unavoidably befalls a person; fortune; lot. 2. the universal principle or ultimate agency by which the order of things is presumably prescribed; the decreed cause of events; time. 3. that which is inevitably predetermined; destiny: Death is our ineluctable fate. 4. a prophetic declaration of what must be.”

So, still think the crossing the street example is too extreme? Maybe. But then where do we draw the lines between what is too extreme and what is not too extreme to consider fate-worthy? We often quote, “what’s meant to be will be” or “que sera sera.” But, maybe we say things are meant to be or not meant to be (that is often the question, yes Shakespeare) in order to comfort ourselves when things do not play out how we planned them to or hoped they would. We say things happen for a reason. We comfort others when horrible things happen to them or people they know. Isn’t it the worst? Hearing that “don’t worry sweetie, things happen for a reason” when a loved one dies is like twisting the knife that’s deep inside of you. It certainly doesn’t seem like people pass for a reason. Did someone die in order to teach you some sort of lesson about learning how to let go? Again, do we have that sort of power? I don’t seem to think so. Maybe it was just their time. Like I’ve said in previous posts, maybe things don’t happen for any reason at all. Maybe things really do just happen, and we must deal with the consequences of those outside forces that are acting upon us. But, we still say these phrases and believe things have meaning because it makes us feel like we have an ounce of control over those outside factors when in fact we do not. Could stepping on a crack really break your father’s back? I certainly used to think so when I was a kid, but no. We simply do not have that sort of control or power. But feeling like we have absolutely no control over our circumstances makes us very uncomfortable. So, let’s bask in the comfort of not knowing what will happen next. I’ll work on it if you do, reader.

Be at peace, not in pieces.