This is me last summer. Words that come to mind are: pensive, hopeful, optimistic, expansionary. I was envisioning a life I was about to create for myself. Going to Graduate School, doing “big” things. I was that big fish in a small pond. I thought I had succeeded. A new college grad. And I have done big things. However, I long for more. I want a better life, to be fully sustained by myself. I want to create a life of prosperity. I’ve been stressed for a long time now. Constant stress takes a physical toll on your body: acne, weight-loss, anxiety, hair loss. These are some of the things I’ve been dealing with in the most recent months. My depression re-surfaced. I have been very unhappy for far too long. I was happier just going with the flow and doing things I thought needed to be done. Now realizing everything was a choice is hard to grasp. I chose to be under the immense stress I have been in for years now. But today, April 10th, on this chilled Friday night, I came to the realization of what I want. I want more for myself. I want to live my life to my fullest potential instead of being bogged down by logistics and being put into a box of conformity. The thought came to me at random and it felt like a revelation. All that’s left to do is make it happen. Thanks for reading.
Be at peace, not in pieces.