FOMO. For those who don’t know, FOMO stands for the “fear of missing out.” This may be the root of my indecisive nature. Every time I think I figure out my next move, either more doubts get created or more obstacles are formed in my mind. I can’t make a decision for the fear of missing out…..for the fear of making the “wrong” choice and missing out on being happier if I had chosen the other thing. I am only 23, but I still have these fears. Is there a right choice when all the choices seem equally appropriate? Making a “pros and cons” list doesn’t seem to help much. Even creating weights for the things I value more and calculating my expected value for making the choice may give me clear results on paper, but not in my mind. I ask for countless opinions and seek council, yet I find fault with everyone’s choice for me… “but I hate doing xyz” or “but I hate the idea of being trapped”… it goes on and on and my loved ones begin to stay silent for they know their opinions will be met with a bombardment of questions and opposition. They are trying to look out for me, but only I could inevitably make the decision and know what’s best for myself. Because trying to explain away all the different components that go into every decision is tedious– only I can see the big picture of my own life. Yet, I don’t know what I want. Which brings me full circle. And it all stems back to those younger years where I lost all my interests and extra-curriculars and focused on academia. Still I feel talentless, lost, and void of any direction due to lack of interests. Hopefully, as I de-clutter my anxiety-ridden mind, I will re-learn what I truly love. And, I am hopeful that I will be easier on myself and find that I love myself no matter what. Whatever I choose will be the best choice for myself at that moment, so I pray for no regrets, I pray I don’t look back, and I pray I don’t over-think and over-analyze every single minute detail like I always do. I have to go with the flow and see where the current takes me.
Follow your bliss, my friends.