I didn’t know I was lost, I don’t know if I am, maybe the best thing is to get lost. To go far away, discover new parts of the mysterious world out there. I could do that, but there is so much more mystery and complexity within my own labyrinth. I am a puzzle. Every day I find a new piece and try to stick it in its rightful place. Every day I get closer to what I want by knowing what I don’t want. I am not some poor helpless soul. I am a strong person who got caught up in her head by dwelling on things that cannot change. I still am caught up in my head. Slowly I am releasing myself from this constrained trap. I will break the cycle. I know what to do in the future, I know what to do now. Keep going. That’s it. Do. Move. Go. Live. Be.
I get caught up in my heart. My whole life was a constant game of tug-of-war in my heart. Me pulling, the other resisting. Sometimes I faced someone and we both were happy with the outcome, for a while. But things change, people change, I will change. Everything is up in the air and I was never a good juggler. I can only focus on so many things at once before I let all the balls drop. These balls are love, work, school, family, friends, hobbies, interests. All the components together make a whole being. I need to find my balance so I’m not in a constant juggle with too many balls in the air than I can catch. I will figure out this beautiful system in time. For now I need to focus on the short term. I don’t need everything figured out at 23. That’s the beauty of it all. There’s a whole world out there and I intend to explore it. I don’t need to always choose the stable choice, as Jim Carrey said in his speech below, “You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.” The challenge is figuring out what your passion is. For some this is simple and easy, for the rest of us, we must let go and let the universe work it’s magic. Sometimes things just fall into place. Have faith, because “hope is a beggar.”
Explore, my friends.