I was striking out in all areas of my day today, except with working out and the gym. Today was the first day I really went for a run in months..felt good..it was freeing. When I’m frustrated I love feeling like I can pound the pavement. I’ve been progressing a lot and overcoming my demons the past few weeks. And I tried new things this week, had a new outlook, but ever since yesterday I have been feeling down. I was trying not to let things bog me down, and I tried going through my daily motions, but today didn’t help any. I’m mulling along, I’m trying to be proactive, but today was just not my day–I wasn’t feeling it and the world wasn’t feeling me. I feel more lost now than ever before. At this crossroad because I know I must decide. It’s really not as big of a deal as I am making it. I want to do so many things now, and it is funny because before I wanted nothing, now I want too much. Can I have it all? Surely if I work for it. Now I have to figure out what things are worth working for. What is worth my time, effort, and dedication. Baby I can be loyal, sometimes too loyal. I sometimes stick around for too long or stick with something for more than I should. Other times I get so bored, drop it, and quit without care. I always seem to have a dilemma. Perhaps it is self-created and self-fulfilled. I worry, therefore I am in angst. Only thing that is different is my ability to keep some composure in public.
I don’t think we talk about our emotions as much as necessary. Of course no one wants to walk around like an emotional mess because people typically don’t gravitate towards that dragging energy. No one wants to be an emotional vampire, sucking the fun out of everything. But, sometimes it is nice to reach out and really care when you ask a friend “how are you.” Not expecting the generic “I’m good” and not feeling uncomfortable with it shows you truly care. Too many of us walk around and try to be PC or politically correct, but PC is boring, PC doesn’t help you establish meaningful relationships, PC only helps you get the fair-weather friends. And I ain’t no fair-weather chick (as you can reference from a previous post of mine).
Stay strong, be boldly you even if you don’t have an entourage to back you up.