Those 4 words seem to appear right when you need to hear them the least. “It could be worse…” Yes your situation could be worse than it currently is; however, in terms of your standards and experiences, your situation is currently considered your form of “bad” or “not pleasing.” So by saying this colloquial phrase to someone in a bad mood or who is grieving, you are essentially negating their feelings with the undertone of “you shouldn’t be feeling this way because there are other people who have it worse than you and wish they could have your problems instead.” Yes it is true that others may have it worse, but we are human and we are allowed to feel. Telling us that we shouldn’t cry or feel sad because we have it better than other less fortunate individuals in the world is to say you aren’t entitled to your feelings. In the same regards, would you tell someone “you shouldn’t feel happy because someone has it better than you…” Would you ever say that?

Reframe your perspective by reframing the questions you ask.

Advertisements