I am a prisoner of my own mind. Trapped with myself for the rest of my life. Lesson: You better get along with yourself or you are in for a bumpy ride. A bumpy life.

When I don’t like someone, a new friend, an acquaintance, I can easily choose to not associate with them anymore. And I have done this fairly frequently throughout my life. People have come and go willingly and forcibly in my life. Forcibly by myself. Willingly on their own accord.

But what happens if you don’t like yourself? I don’t like a lot of what the person who stares back at me in the mirror has done thus far. I have alienated myself. I am not where I thought I would be career-wise. I’m not where I thought I would be in life. I don’t like how socially uncomfortable I am around others. I sometimes say inappropriate things. I am sometimes very hurtful to my loved ones. Ninety percent of the time I don’t like who I am and how I operate.

How can I set myself free from myself and my own self-sabotaging actions? Here are some steps:

  1. Acknowledgement: I first need to acknowledge who I am and where I am right now in this present moment. Right now I am a certain way and I am a certain person. I need to list all my current qualities, both good and bad and truly see myself. Who am I? What actions do I take, both good and bad? List them out.
  2. Acceptance: I need to accept who I am, even if I might not like this person. I have to look at my list from step 1 and accept that this is who I am and this is the person I am projecting into the world.
  3. Discovery: Figure out what qualities I admire in others. Who do I look up to professionally, spiritually, and socially. What qualities do they project into the world? How do they make others feel when they interact with this admirable person.
  4. Change: I know where I stand and where I want to go, now I need to start moving towards this ideal person. What will this new change look like for my life? What things do I need to do differently now?

Will you make the change with me?