Lifestyle Blog: living with fear & anxiety

A Lifestyle Blog and Podcast on Mental Health

Go your own way — May 16, 2019

Go your own way

In life, we can either make our own path or follow someone else’s path for us. If we always take what we can get, we will only get what we are given. What we are given might not be something we actually want. If you want something, you must pursue it. Even if you fail, you went down in the pursuit of something that was worth it.

If you find yourself living in someone else’s story, take a look around, then find a mirror. The person looking back at you in the mirror is the reason you have drifted in this direction. A bird guided by the wind will only go as far as the breeze takes it. But if you take flight and make your own current, you will fly in the direction you choose.

Choose your own path, or someone else will do it for you.

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Living with your choices — May 14, 2019

Living with your choices

I was watching a great show on Netflix this weekend called The Imposters. I binged season 1 in about a day and a half. The show got me truly hooked. Sadly, I read it was canceled after season 2… Anyway, it is about a bunch of con artists living all of these different lives. One random, outside character said something that truly stuck with me. She mentioned a mug she saw at an airport that said

“If you wanted to do it, you would have done it already.”

This quote really struck a chord with me. I talk so much about how I want to change my life but I have to think about whether or not I really want to. Because, as this saying goes, I would have done it already.

So I decided to put my actions where my mouth is and change my circumstances instead of just complaining about my life or lack thereof.

You can also apply it to others around you. If someone doesn’t make an effort for you, remember that if they truly wanted to, then they would make time for you. Don’t lower your worth, and don’t push aside your dreams. But remember, you won’t work unless you truly want it. Our actions speak louder than words. And ask yourself, do I really want this?

 

When life gives you lemons — May 9, 2019

When life gives you lemons

We all know the old adage… “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” But what if you didn’t wait for life to give you lemons? What if you grew the lemon tree yourself and picked the lemons you want for your own harvest.

You can cultivate the life you want to live. You have the ability to live life on your terms. Yes there will be things that are out of your control, hence our old lemon-lemonade adage, but you do not have to wait for life to hand you anything. You can go out and grab it. Grow your own harvest. Take your own lemons.

We make mistakes — May 7, 2019

We make mistakes

We need to leave room in our lives and space in our minds for our own mistakes. We can’t always be perfect and shouldn’t expect ourselves to be perfect all the time. It’s unreasonable and unexpected. Sometimes we act irresponsibly. Sometimes we do things that are out of character. Sometimes we do things that are cringe worthy… but these mistakes help us grow. Whether we look back in despise of our actions or praise our honorability, each moment can be a moment to learn. Don’t beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself and allow your mistakes to happen.

Don’t worry your life away — April 30, 2019

Don’t worry your life away

Suffering from anxiety has my mind racing in a million different possible directions at all times. If something veers from my norm or someone does something a certain way, my OCD brain kicks in. My germaphobic ways stop me in my tracks in sheer fear. After taking medication the past 2 months, I have noticed a difference. I am a little less bothered by everything that once irritated me and lingered in my mind for hours. Yes I Still get moments like these that creep in, but for the most part I am a lot better than I was.

You too can stop your worrying from controlling your life. Sometimes it is as simple as telling yourself your worries are “silly” but sometimes medication is required. Please talk to your therapists and doctors to see how you can get some help. Worrying your life away is not a way to live, trust me. I did it for way too long out of, well, fear.

Relax, don’t do it — April 25, 2019

Relax, don’t do it

Do you ever get those moments where you just want to lash out and say exactly what is on your mind? I know I have. But there is a time and place for everything, my friend. I sometimes suffer from the foot in mouth disease, but I have been trying to reign in my loose language. By using the “pause” technique I have been able to hold back on saying words I might regret later. Now I’ll go through how to use this “pause method” that I have cultivated in my life.

  1. Recognize your emotions.
    Recognizing your emotions is the crucial first step in this process. You have to become aware when you are getting heated or maybe even trying to be a little too playful with your words. Yes, even jokes can turn out to be hurtful at times because something may not be funny to another person.
  2. Catch yourself. 
    This is the heart of the “pause” method. 10Cast out a net in your mind to catch all those negative or hurtful comments that you would like to say.
  3. Evaluate your thoughts.
    After catching your thoughts before they are cast out into the world never to return again, the next step is evaluating these thoughts. Ask yourself questions like, will I regret saying this later? Am I just really angry at something else in my life so I am projecting onto this person? Will saying these words change anything about my situation? Will I or the other person receive any benefit by speaking my words?

Simply thinking thoughts won’t do any harm, but speaking them might. You need to evaluate if the repercussions are worth the words. Once you have “paused” you can think a little bit clearer in the moment and hopefully stop yourself from regretting saying something you don’t mean.

A great life — April 23, 2019

A great life

Are you waiting to begin your life? Why?

You don’t need to ask permission from anyone in order to live the life you want. With the availability of information online you can learn pretty much anything, anytime.

If you chose a major you never wanted, a job you never wanted, a spouse you never wanted, and you find yourself in a place you never wanted to end up in – you can still turn your life around. You are not bound by your decisions. If you choose one thing one day you can choose something else another. When you were younger, you had less opportunities to live life on your terms because you were restricted by a lack of autonomy. Now as an adult, some of us still put these same restrictions on ourselves. We ask our friends and family advice on matters in our life. Our fear of making our own decisions and then possibly being “wrong” enables us to poll others just so that we don’t take all the blame for our own crappy life. We spread around the blame. At a certain point there’s no where left to spread and you realize all the blame is on you. Because it’s your life. Take charge of it.

Sing your song — April 18, 2019

Sing your song

Sing your song so proudly. Be bold. Be you.

Be brave enough to stand up for what you believe in, even when it isn’t so popular.

Be happy enough with who you are so that you don’t shy away from your reflection.

Stand tall so everyone can see you. Don’t hide within the crowd. Don’t try to blend in if you don’t.

Be you, whatever that means and by whatever means. Be you, for you.

It’s Time — April 16, 2019

It’s Time

It’s time to put yourself first. It’s time to listen to your body and feed it what it needs. It’s time to move and be active. It’s time to be alive!

It is very easy to get caught up in the business of day-to-day activities and responsibilities and push our own needs aside. We can forget our daily maintenance while responding to urgent matters. Well, neglecting basic needs will lead to burnout and stress.

Do something for you today.

Laugh it off — April 11, 2019

Laugh it off

I do so many things to embarrass myself. From running, tripping, and falling to saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. I feel socially awkward sometimes, yet somehow I still am able to function as a seemingly “normal” human. When you do something to embarrass yourself, dwelling on it is the worst thing to do yet we can’t not dwell on it, right? What if I told you that I stopped my embarrassment harassment in my own mind, would you believe me?

Well, yesterday I did it! I was waiting in line for public transportation and for whatever reason I thought I was on the wrong line and that they were closing my gate so I begin to run to the gate to be let onto my transportation and… there was still a huge line ahead of me. So I un-shamefully walked back to my respective spot in line. I did not make eye contact with anyone and I was just laughing to myself. Now everyone saw me do this and I could have felt totally embarrassed but I just realized, hey I made a mistake but I don’t know any of these people but even if I did, I am a flawed human and am allowed to make mistakes! I usually would dwell on something like this, maybe turn red in the face and then text a few people telling them how embarrassed I felt to invoke sympathy. But I didn’t and I just continued with my day feeling proud! Sometimes you have to just let it go and accept you are flawed.